yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
