I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
