3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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