Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
