I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
