I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
