Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize