Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
