it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How external is "for external use only"?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
