Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
