My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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