so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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