If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
