Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
