He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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