i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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