when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
