My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The ass gains better be worth it
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