it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
