Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
