I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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