remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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