some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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