Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
