That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
