okay pat passed out under dana's car
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
