Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
