forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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