Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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