HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
