I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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