But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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