I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
