she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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