i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
