I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
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Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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