I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Even my vagina gasped.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
