Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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