She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
