Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize