I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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