can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
