Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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