she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
