he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
