I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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