I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
