My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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