nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
