just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
