Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
