I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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