Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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