you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
