i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
