Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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